It’s no secret that moving is not an easy thing to do. Whether you are moving 3 miles or 300 miles. It’s time consuming, frustrating, and not as fun as it may seem. Although the first night in a new place is always exciting and fabulous, you will still probably wake up the next morning entangled in a half deflated air mattress that your cat thought would make a great sratching post, simply because you couldn’t afford to move your bed into your fabulous new apartment.
Maybe I went about this all the wrong way. Maybe I should have planned better. Maybe I should have saved up more. Or maybe I should have declawed that damn cat when I had the chance. Hindsight is 20/20 right? Well shit, that doesn’t matter now because here you are, knee deep in a cluster fuck of stressful, new surroundings. And you are pretty sure hindsight won’t help you determine if that upstairs neighbor did, in fact, bring a full size horse up to their apartment for the weekend.
So hopefully, if you are planning to make a big move, this will help. But most likely, it will give you a good laugh at my misfortune.
Lesson One: Nothing will go as planned
I do not plan things. Mostly because I have a habit of canceling plans at the last minute. Especially when they don’t prove to be monetarily lucrative immediately. I get this crippling anxiety that no matter what the situation is, it will be a major fail. Which is why I like to fly by the seat of my pants so to speak. Everything must be now, last minute, or it simply won’t get done. I know this isn’t ideal in adult life, but somehow I strive under the pressure. It’s just how I roll. And I am ok with that.
This time, I attempted to plan things. I didn’t do a very good job of it, but I can get an “A” for effort, right?
I set up appointments to view apartments, but they were overpriced and overrated. I didn’t reserve a hotel room because I figured it would be easier to negotiate in person. And I completely spaced the fact that it was now August. Which is apparently the month that everyone flocks to their vacation destination, taking down any and all hotels in their path. So it took an unnecessarily long time just to find the small, overpriced, bug infested (jk.. probably) room that had a very pungent tobacco odor. And being a smoker myself, it’s kind of a big deal that I was concerned with the smell.
…So maybe, just maybe that was my fault for not planning properly. ..Oops.
Lesson Two: Moving is expensive
I figured it would be expensive. But I never really understood just how much so it really is. I mean, goddamn! I don’t understand how anyone does that. I still don’t understand how I did it. Though, to be fair, my parents played a big part in that.. (Thanks guys!)
The cost of gas to drive to your new destination. Cost of a hotel room for night one (or for a month if you did it the way I did). Fast food or expensive delivery every night because you don’t have a freezer or stove. And you are lucky if you get a microwave.
When you find an apartment, not only do you have to come up with first month’s rent (which was about 3 times more than I ever paid before) and the security deposit, but you also have 30 nights at a less than five-star hotel to pay for. And the cost to move all of your stuff to this new place. And all that other crap that you never want to think about.
Fun Fact: Every time I pay my rent, a tiny piece of me dies inside.
Lesson Three: It’s lonely
I moved by myself. The only people I knew were the people I worked with and the various employees paid to smile at me from behind the hotel’s front desk. A lot of my friends and family told me that I had a lot of guts to do something like this. That they admired my courage. If you asked me then, I would have said that I was too excited to be scared. Ask me now, and I would say that I was a special kind of crazy.
Lesson Four: You really learn just how much you can handle. It’s fucking hard.
You have to have the funds to stay afloat while establishing yourself in an entirely new place.
You have to be ok with being alone. A LOT. Unless you are a social butterfly and can go out to, say, a bar and just meet people.. somehow. I cannot. But I am totally ok with being alone. Love it.
Part of being alone so much is really finding out who you are. Good and bad. But it’s so worth it. You can carve yourself into a new you. Someone that YOU are happy with. Because you are all you have.
Lesson Five: Don’t Settle.
There is absolutely no point in settling for less than you deserve. Go big or go home. Shoot for what you really want. Because I promise, there is nothing that you can’t do.